15 questions about
relationship patterns
Pick one and start there. You don't have to go in order.
- 1
"What's a positive pattern you've noticed in our relationship?"
- 2
"What's a pattern in our relationship you'd like to change?"
- 3
"When things get hard between us, what's our usual pattern?"
- 4
"What's a dynamic from your family of origin you see replaying in our relationship?"
- 5
"What pattern do we fall into when one of us is stressed?"
- 6
"Is there a cycle of hurt and repair we go through repeatedly?"
- 7
"What's a habit we have together that you're proud of?"
- 8
"What's something we do that brings us closer that we could do more of?"
- 9
"What's a pattern in how we make decisions that works well?"
- 10
"Is there a way we deal with conflict that you'd like to shift?"
- 11
"What do you notice about us when we're at our best?"
- 12
"What do you notice about us when we're struggling?"
- 13
"What's a strength of ours that shows up consistently?"
- 14
"What pattern would you most like us to build in the next year?"
- 15
"What does our relationship look like from the outside, do you think?"
How to use these
conversation starters
Over dinner
Pick one question at the start of the meal. Let the conversation lead where it wants.
On a long drive
No eye contact makes some questions easier. Road trips are perfect for depth.
Before sleep
One question each before the lights go out. This becomes a ritual you'll both love.
On a walk
Walking side by side reduces pressure. The movement helps the conversation flow.
Sunday morning
Slow morning, no agenda. Phones down. One question over coffee.
In the app
Log your answers in Relationship App: Love Story. Look back on them together.
Keep the conversation
going every day.
Daily prompts, mood check-ins, love notes, and a shared memory of every conversation you have together.